#5 Self-confidence, Believe In Yourself
transcript of the video
(G stands for Gemma; S stands for Sascha)
G: Hello guys, how are you today? We are very happy to be with you again in this series of “How you too can win an award”. The topic of the day is “Self-confidence Believe in Yourself”.
Ok. This subject came up because for years I did not believe in myself. When Sascha picked me up in 2013 (it’s a while ago now) I had zero self-confidence, zero self-respect, zero self-love, like nothing. And I heard him – and I’m very happy he’s here to hear that – I heard him tell me “Ok. I believe in you!”; “You are the best”; “You are a genius” and other encouraging words like that. I really considered that encouraging but I did not believe it. It took me - I don’t know how many years, but a lot - probably 2 or 3 years to start to believe because I heard it enough; to start to believe that maybe it’s true.
S: You know, following-up on the topic of greatness yesterday, you can always find something, light, in somebody else, even if it’s a small light in the beginning, just a flickering light, you can always, if you really look, find the light, find something good, find something great in anyone, and nurture that, so that that light can become brighter and brighter and brighter, and outshine everything else that needs to go, that needs to leave.
Because I mean, where you turn on the light, darkness must leave. Where you turn on the light, all negative, which is also part of the darkness, all the trash you tell yourself has to leave. So, start with a light, small little flickering light, even if it is just a little tiny tiny tiny candlelight, start with that, that’s already light. And tune up the sound of that, tune up the volume of that until it becomes a raging fire inside of you that overcomes everything else.
G: And also, this self-confidence, you build it over time. You start to prove yourself that all these encouraging words you heard are actually true. That means that you build your self-confidence. You add up the experiences that are positive, and then, before you know it, you feel empowered, and you start to congratulate yourself, and to say “Oh! I did good! OK! So, let’s do it again!” and then you build up more and more and more.
S: So, yes, it’s about that. When you want to build self-confidence, you may have to change the aquarium, meaning that you may have to change the people you surround yourself with, which doesn’t mean by any means that you should surround yourself with yes-people, with people who always tell you yes, but by people who see the light in you, and can also tell you what you need to do, or what actions you need to take to turn the level up of that light, and to shine it brighter. That also means that these people will tell you the negative things. And they are also going to tell you where you are focusing on the darkness, on the negative things inside of you instead of focusing on the good things. So, it’s about surrounding yourself with people who see the light in you, even if it is a small tiny light maybe only, and who are committed to actually grow that light, by telling you the good, the bad, and the ugly, because it’s the only way you’re going to grow. Imagine you hear “You’re great, you’re amazing” all day long, that doesn’t help you grow, that may help you believe in maybe a potential lie, because we all need to grow, we all have things to outgrow ourselves, and you need people who can tell you that too. And that’s what a good mentor is.
A good mentor is love, but a good mentor is also tough love, who can tell you “listen, that wasn’t that great, how can we transform that?”
G: And when you build on those constructive criticisms, on those right mirrors, what I mean is that when you have someone who can tell you “Well, that was not so great” instead of losing your self-confidence instantly, you think “Ok, so what can I do better? How can I improve? How can I do better next time? How can I find my voice?” or whatever, something.
S: You know what I would suggest that you can do right now for yourself, is go in front of the mirror or go introspect inside of yourself and find something that you really like about yourself. It doesn’t matter if other people can or cannot see it, it’s about you, inside of yourself, what you really like about yourself. And then, imagine that it is that thing that is going to be the X factor, it’s that thing that is going to make you outshine and be greater than you were before. Because you know, it’s like we were talking about greatness yesterday. It’s not about being greater than the other guy or the other lady, it’s about being better than you were the day before. So, go find this thing that you really like about yourself, and shine all the light in it, and start believing that this is your X factor, that’s the one thing that is going to make you stand out, and you be different, and you being that self-confident person, because you have that thing that you love about yourself.
G: And also, when you build this self-confidence, that gives you the inner drive to keep on doing the right thing to do because you know it’s right, because you know it’s serving others, because you know you are on a mission and you know you are achieving your mission. For example: to help and inspire millions of individuals to step into the energy of success, that is our mission, and yours can be anything.
S: And you know, like they say, “what you see, you become”, or “what you surround yourself, you tend to become” so if you see the light in somebody else, well, the fact that you see it will help it grow. You nurture it by seeing it and appreciating it. And, yes, as I said, you may have to change your surrounding if all that the people around you can find in you is fault, all they can find in you is criticism, because these are only negative people, but it’s also not surrounding yourself with only yes-people who tell you only the greatest things. All they tell you is “yes-yes-yes-yes-yes”. You want people who can see your light, and tell you how to grow it, and tell you where you’re not nurturing it, and what you can do to have that tiny flickering light become an amazing beautiful fire inside of you that’s motivating you, that’s driving you, every single day. And you can start that by being that for yourself, by finding that very thing, as I just said, that you love about yourself, even if it’s a tiny little thing! Find it, nurture it and love it, and grow that light. Because it’s that’s the one thing that is the X factor.
G: Because you are going to build on it, you are going to build yourself on it, you are going to prove yourself right to love this thing. It can be your eyes; it can be anything. It can be the flame in your eyes, it can be what you radiate, it can be your belief.
S: You know, imagine that when you light a fire in a chimney, it always starts with a tiny little amber, with a tiny little thing that doesn’t look like much. But as you nurture that, it grows as a magnificent fire that can keep you warm, that can keep your loved one warm, that can bring so much light, love. So, start by finding that amber, no matter how big this amber is, it’s not really important how big the amber is. It’s about you nurturing that amber. Because yes, you can always look at all the love in your chimney that is not burning yet, and say “yeah, whatever about the amber, the other woods and loves that are not burning yet.” Well, if you do that, it’s a recipe for failure. It’s about the amber, and nurturing the amber, and watching it grow in your mind’s eye, and believing in it. That’s the amber that is going to make all the difference to light the fire, not only for yourself, but for others as well. Because, I mean, if the fire is lit, it’s good for you, but it’s also good for everybody around you who are going to be lit and warmed through that.
G: That’s awesome. So, we are very happy to have brought to you this subject today. We look forward to seeing you tomorrow, in this series of “How you too can win an award”, because actually, you have greatness in you, because first of all you are watching this video, that says a lot about you and that we believe in you. Have an amazing day.
S: Have a beautiful day, and find the flame inside of you, the amber inside of you.